Mike Pence Is Alone in The Dunkin' Donuts
Let's look at him.
It is Friday. We made it through another week.
Let us all look at this photo that Mike Pence tweeted of himself alone at a Dunkin’ Donuts.
Where are the employees? It looks like they all saw Mike Pence walk in and then left.
“I am not going to be in a photo on Mike Pence’s Twitter. My grandchildren will not see me handing this man a Donut Hole.”
This is the worst post by a politician I have seen in awhile. It is lonely. It is sad. It is desperate for affection yet speaks to no one. It is poorly framed. The caption is idiotic. (You had to “check out” Dunkin’ Donuts, the 6th largest fast food chain in America? What are you checking out next — Lays potato chips?)
The photo contains multitudes. It is both funny and depressing. It gives off the vibes of an Edward Hopper painting.
Who are you looking at? How long have you been standing like this? Where is everyone?
“Hello? Former Vice President Mike Pence here. I can hear you snickering in the back room. Please come give me a donut.”
Why are you tweeting out photos that look like a “Before” picture in an ad for Zoloft? “Does depression have you feeling isolated — like no one notices you’re even alive?”
Obviously American politics can be unpredictable. But I would predict that Mike Pence’s presidential run is going to be a lot like this photo: weird, lonely, unpopular, and humiliating.
I fully support this, of course. Mike Pence’s primary achievements as Vice President were: 1) flying to an NFL game to taunt the Black players; and 2) almost getting his neck snapped by the supporters of the obviously insane president he called a Genius for 4 years straight.
Politics is funny, isn’t it? One second you’re on top of the world; the next you’re polling at 1%, both parties hate you, and fast food employees are drawing straws to see who gets to spit in your Donut Hole.
Have a great weekend, Mike Pence. If my math is correct you have now been waiting for service at this New Hampshire Dunkin’ Donuts for 48 hours and 13 minutes.
Keep fighting the good fight, man. Eventually someone will notice you but probably not.