Every Sunday, I will send out my favorite tweets of the week. These tweets were not necessarily written this week…They are just tweets I saw this week. Some of them are old. Some of them will not make sense to you unless you are extremely Online. I do not care.
When I worked at Blockbuster, a guy handed me a note and said, "I'm looking for this." The note: "leppercorn."
Text to homie nicknamed Big Gulp: You make every day of my life better than the next. I feel like I have known you for a thousand lifetimes
Text to wife: Make sure the bathroom door is open when I got home. Im gonna come in sprinting
Jeff Foxworthy voice: “If yer suddenly reading a Lauren Boebert tweet… you MIIIIGHT be on the “For You” tab!!!”
(talking to 19 year olds in my class) green goblin had swag (glances at 25 year old student who slowly shakes their head no) but lowkey he had trauma . I dont love that for him
I’m conflicted because one hand I feel like i want to criticize a right-wing congressman but I also firmly believe in a Brazilian drag queen’s right to become evil
(Polycule On Family Feud)
Steve Harvey: Alright, you ready? Name something roommates shouldn’t do!
Enby named Jamantha: Weaponize their neurotypicalness 😄
Steve: 😐 .... Show me “Weaponize their neurotypicalness?”
*ding* (Board shows “Cause a ruckus”)
Steve: Ah noooo 😭
Dino is actually a former colleague of mine. I can confirm he is a dinosaur.
Live shot of me at my desk
Dino Grandoni @dino_grandoni
I hope you have a great week.