Re: The Ron DeSantis Presidential Launch

Twitter: You killed it.

Dear Twitter employees,

I just want to write a quick note to the 37 of you who still work here.

Last night, Ron DeSantis launched his presidential campaign on Spaces with Elon and one of Elon’s weird unlikeable friends who’s always at the office talking about his Corvette.

And despite what you may be reading in the Bud Light-sipping, Target-shopping Elitist Media, it was a flawless night.

I just want to fill you in on some the highlights. These were put together by me, because our PR head is “in a depressive state.”

When Governor DeSantis came to Twitter and said, “I want to do an online launch event that feels like it was produced by a middle school AV Club,” we knew we had a challenge ahead of us.

How could we take two charisma-free speakers and make the experience of listening to them whine about Woke cartoon characters even more tedious?

But thanks to several sleepless nights and a last minute technical assist from the Theranos Lady, we did it.

Here are some bullet points:

• Ron DeSantis only got kicked out of his own presidential launch event due to server errors 19 times. Incredible work.

• The launch event featured some really cool echoes, microphone feedback, a baby crying, more blips and bloops than early Animal Collective, and studio production that can only be described as “What if Newsmax put on a show after doing a power hour?”

• #Hindenburg, #Titanic, and #Challenger all trended nationally. This is a sign that listeners knew they were witnessing something historic.

• The launch earned so many headlines, basically no one is talking about how Elon Musk got subpoenaed in the Jeffrey Epstein trial anymore.

But honestly, I’m even more proud of what last night represented.

By hosting a presidential candidate who is supported by the entire management team, we showed the world what an unbiased platform looks like.

Journalists from across the political spectrum asked Governor DeSantis tough questions — like “Why are you so cool?” and “Can I have your autograph?”

This is just the beginning. Soon we will expand our efforts and start hosting Twitter events with politicians ranging from Republican Senators, to Republican Congressmen, and perhaps even Republican comms directors — and it’s all thanks to Elon’s visionary commitment to eliminate bias on the platform.

Stay tuned. This is not the last Twitter Spaces event we will sponsor that feels like sitting in on a mandatory workplace Zoom.

Big things are coming. #Hindenburg

- Your twitter management team