Recommendations from the Anti-CDC
Ron DeSantis is taking on the medical establishment, and also just medicine in general.
“[Florida Governor Ron] DeSantis announced he was setting up a Public Health Integrity Committee in Florida to act as an “anti-CDC”. - The Independent
Recommendations from Florida’s Anti-CDC
The COVID Vaccine: Receiving this so-called vaccine is now punishable by death — if the vaccine itself doesn’t kill you first.
The common cold: Often when one gets a "cold,” the body feels warm. Agents are investigating.
Bacterial meningitis: Not real.
Eating raw pork: Is not only healthy, but encouraged. There’s a reason they call it “trichinosis” - because it’s a “trich” played on you by the Deep State.
Insomnia: The main cause of insomnia is sleeping on a pillow that is not made in America. Cure your insomnia by ordering a MyPillow. Get 20% off your order with code FAUCIMUSTDIE
Diabetes: Insulin is a false flag operation spearheaded by Hugo Chavez. Instead, try a Brazilian butt lift and godly prayer.
Drunk driving: Only acceptable if you have a cool car.
Theranos machines: Are hereby legal again. The corrupt MSM smeared this miracle technology, and here in Florida we are bringing back these magic blood-testing machines. Bonus: The new Florida Theranos machines will not only tell you if you have cancer, they will also display the latest tweets from Kevin Sorbo.
Sore throat: A medical condition that is short for “Soros Throat.” We WILL hold him accountable.
Polio vaccine: Not recommended unless you are traveling to Polio.
High blood pressure: Can be cured by a one-night stay at any Margaritaville Casino & Resort.
Vaping: It is hereby declared that the coolest thing you can do for your health is to constantly inhale a cotton candy-flavored vape while wearing a skin-tight Ed Hardy T-shirt.
Ebola: If a parent wants to send their child to school with Ebola, that is their right in Florida.
Viral meningitis: Not real.
Hepatitis B: Not real
Hepatitis C: Not real.
Hepatitis D: Caused by voting Democrat. The only cure is commenting “😂” on at least 15 Don Jr. posts.
Japanese Encephalitis: Joe Biden’s reckless immigration policy has allowed Japanese Encephalitis to flow freely across our border. (We don’t know what this is.)
X-Rays: Men should get X-rays from female X-ray technicians, and women should get X-rays from male X-ray technicians. In Florida, a member of your same sex will NOT be looking at your bones.
Surgeon General Warnings: We are taking these off packs of cigarettes, and placing them on books by Rachel Maddow.
Ivermectin: We are freeing doctors to prescribe this wonder pharmaceutical for all diseases, including COVID, the flu, skin cancer, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, decapitation, gunshot wounds, getting your leg caught in a bear trap, shark bites, getting swallowed whole by an alligator, and menses.
Average Life Expectancy: In Florida we are going to live forever.